Pregnancy After Fertility Struggles is Anxiety-Ridden and Terrifying: Here are some tips on how to protect your spirit in the 1st trimester
One of the saddest things I find when working with women going through the pain of problems with fertility is that even after those long awaited two pink lines appear, another anxiety and worry laden journey begins to hold that baby in their arms. This is exhausting.
It’s like that “infertility” label has robbed them of that precious naivete of a mother who conceived with very little effort, the shiny joyful woman is still there but she has been dulled with worry and concern, and she is tired, exhausted and broken from the effort of conceiving.
After three miscarriages, every single trip to the toilet for a wee had me holding my breath as I couldn’t bear the knicker watching anxiety anymore- and in a cruel twist of early pregnancy, you need to pee- a lot!
So if this is you, let’s look at some ways to bring the shine back to your spirit in the first trimester and beyond.
1. Accept the responsibility that you are a parent now! Right now, today, not in 9 months time. You are a parent, and always will be, whatever happens. Your baby needs you now, emotionally, spiritually and physically, however tiny they are. This is a wonderful thing, accept that responsibility with joy!
2. Seek support NOW, not at 12 weeks. For years, I only accepted women into my pregnancy yoga class when they were 12 weeks pregnant, thus leaving women who were in that scary first trimester out in that cold, lonely secret, incredibly hard world of the first trimester. There is no need for this, gentle pregnancy yoga is safe and you need the support of a community arguably more than at any other time of pregnancy. If you don’t feel like sharing with your friends or family, an online class is more discreet and a great way to gain support.
3. Be gentle and patient with yourself and try to avoid situations where you feel rushed or pressured- the first trimester is a period of massive adaptation in your body- you may not look any different on the outside but the spiritual, hormonal and physical shift in your body to make room for this tiny being is huge!
4. Meditate, breathe, pray.
5. Unapologetically put up boundaries and barriers to negativity. Uncomplicate and streamline your life as much as possible. Surround yourself with nice things and lovely environments. You have ZERO time or energy for negative energy around you right now.
6. Practice mindfulness. I know this is a buzz word, and in a lot of ways over-used at the moment but it really helps to live fully in each moment and take each moment at a time in what can be such an anxious and sometimes terrifying time. It can help to think about the incredible miracle of nature that's happening inside your body- cell division is occurring at a phenomenal rate, every day a new feature or process develops further. Focus on that, and the moments will gradually build up.
7. Make time for faith and hope. Being mindful is awesome, but allow yourself vision for the future, it’s normal and it’s part of the shift in your spirit at the moment. Faith and hope are needed also.
If you are reading this and this is your situation at the moment, I hope you find comfort in these suggestions and I hope and pray your baby is in your arms very very soon.
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